July 25, 2017
Marriage between two individuals is a beautiful union between two different lives, traditions, and stories. Every step you have taken has to lead you to this point. The point of desiring to spend time with another person who loves you. As the excitement of moving in and decorating together begins to be the new normal – you may hear someone tell you that marriage can be a lot of hard work. It’s true, but it also can be so rewarding!
Marriage is about taking two individuals who have been independent for a very long time and morph them into one. That is a lot of hard work that is an ongoing process, but it is completely worth every step!
While Jake and I are still in the early part of our marriage, married only 3 1/2 years, I truly do have a passion to share just the little bit of what we have learned with you! Now, a big disclaimer, we are still learning more and more about these! I never want to say that these tips will help you reach perfection, but they help you grow and to strengthen your relationship with your spouse! (PSA: this will be a very real and raw post!)
Communication & listening are the keys.
Seriously, this is a HUGE portion of any relationship: communication. An expectation for when you become married is for your spouse to be able to read your mind or meet your every need. If you don’t communicate with the other then you will be disappointed. You also must be able to listen to others as well. Communication and listening go hand in hand.
Ask for the others opinion.
When you first get married, we begin to assume what role the other will play. Like I assumed that I would get to make all of the decor decisions and that wasn’t the case at all! Jake wanted to add in his opinion, create some of the decisions with me, and that can make the other feel shut out. Think about the idea then ask for the others opinion to see if they want to add anything.
Be affirming to the other.
Tell the other that you believe in them, text them that you love them and hoping for a wonderful day, or write them a note to let them know you are thinking about them. Taking that time out of your day for them will mean a lot.
When you’re angry stay quite.
Instead of lashing out saying the other did wrong – first thank the other for what they did right during the situation. Telling the other something positive during an argument breaks down that sense of first reaction anger/pride.
Drop what you’re doing, put away the distractions, and focus.
It is very easy for all of us to get on our phones and become distracted VERY quickly. When we take the moment to show one another that the other is more important than Instagram, we are putting the relationship before ourselves.
Let the other teach you.
Even if they have already taught you this 4000000 billion times over, let them teach you. Give them that respect when they are telling you even if it is something you taught them. It affirms to the other that you valve their input.
Challenge each other.
Encouraging one another to chase that dream, to strive harder, and try something new is always like a breath of fresh air!
Try something new.
Now everyone who knows me knows I am the most city girl in the group. I love hiking, kayaking, and fishing – I just don’t like camping at all. Well, I am going camping next weekend with my in-laws. Whenever we bond over what the other likes, they open up, and share what they are passionate about.
PS: if you are currently not in a relationship, that is totally okay! You do you, girl! These tips can be easily transferred over to be used between friends! Give it a try, you won’t be disappointed!
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